Half of All Penises

are smaller than average. Not yours, of course. If you are a guy reading this, then yours is no doubt comfortably larger than the mean. Not freak-show huge. Just languid, python-in-the-pants, I’ve-never-had-any-complaints big. But out there in the world, at the mall, with your lunch crowd, at the water cooler. Half of those guys are…

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And Ye Shall Heed

the Laws of Thermodynamics. For it is written that in the beginning was a nameless void, and out of the void emerged a tumult of fire and brimstone and photon and proton. Neither structure nor form was on the face of the deep. The Lord created gravity, that He might have something to look at…

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